In the world today, there is so much of monkey do what monkey sees. We do so many things without even asking questions. Following trends that someone, somewhere, started, and we call it “the in thing”.
Like a decade ago, mix matching coloured clothing was a no-no, until recently, probably like 6 years ago, “they” said now it’s ok to mix match coloured clothing, and they call it “colour blocking”.
Recently, my 4-year-old daughter told me she wants to have straight silky hair like me.Before then, I never for once gave my own natural hair a second thought, because I considered it as the kinky, harsh, not manageable hair that I don’t have to deal with, as I have always resolved to wigs and weaves.
As a black woman, buying an expensive Brazilian hair, Mongolian hair or Peruvian hair was NORMAL as I have always worn weaves since I was 18.I remember my first experience was my sisters naming ceremony, it was such a bad experience.
These days, I question myself, questions about why I do what I do. Why do I spend between 250-300 pounds to buy some else’s hair to attach to my hair? Whats wrong with my own hair? How come I haven’t even accepted my own hair?Why do I dress in a certain way because it is socially acceptable? I like to wear black, but a lady told me once “why would you wear all black when you are not going to a funeral”.Oh, my! Who made these rules?
I had an experiment over the weekend, I have these pair of shoes in a different colour that I bought in New York over 2 years ago.So I decided to pair them with each other. Actually, it was my daughter’s idea, she thought it was a good idea to match differently.I agreed!
These were the notable reactions I got
-Some didn’t notice at all
-Some thought, Oh, you can pair shoes with different colour now.
-Some were like “what the bleep is she wearing.”
-Some couldn’t care less
-Some thought it was cool
Why do you do what you do?Why are you in that marriage?Is it to make your parent look good?Why do you wear what you wear?Are you trying to fit in?Why are you in that job or career? Is it to fulfil societal expectations of you. Some have taken jobs that they do not believe in just to be able to get paid to afford things just to impress their friends. How empty?Most people go through life without really asking themselves these questions, living their lives for others.
I believe it’s time to break the rules, It’s time to let go of societal expectations of you, it’s time to let “YOU” come out.
Personally, I have made up my mind not to let others define me.It’s funny how we allow the society to shrink us, how we let peoples expectations to mould us to what we are not.I used to be in the business of pleasing people, not anymore though. You want to be nice to everybody because you don’t want to regarded as rude or arrogant at the detriment of your own self-esteem.Most women have been killed by the man that was supposed to love and care for them just because if they leave the marriage, it will bring shame to their family(they thought). And some are enduring mental abuse every day because they don’t want to be seen as irresponsible.
Who made these rules anyway?
For me, as a born-again Christian, the Word of God is the highest authority by which I live by. And it’s all about being FREE, free form judgement, free from social expectations of me.Am free to be ME!
Am not saying you should break the rules such as speeding or committing an offence, NO! not all. But..
Be weird( be authentic)
Be you!( say Yes to you)
Say No! (when you mean to say No)
It’s your life anyway(Take responsibility)
This life is not a rehearsal! This is it! Don’t let anything or anyone hold you back from being YOU.
I love you